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构筑健康婚姻~~《纽约时报》婚前15问

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发表于 2015-9-24 12:13 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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( C0 L" Q; N: @& s1. 我们要不要孩子?如果要,主要由谁来负责?
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2. 我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么?消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突?
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3. 我们的家庭如何维持?由谁来掌握可能出现的风险?
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4. 我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史?包括精神上的. 1 }: ]1 s$ B! K1 O, T6 G

+ O2 j# v5 }" K3 f9 e  N  \" _5. 我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期?会不会给足够的祝福? , r' V% t1 i$ E2 M$ j

" M% |3 b6 s* l* l. d6. 我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧? % u$ s' ]2 y* W  K! i

: e5 B7 B4 S5 j7 {7. 卧室能放电视机吗? % M" f: e" }# B, `8 T# n* O
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8. 我们真的能倾听对方诉说,并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗?
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$ P4 g- d" U7 \0 M9. 我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗?我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗? - B; a6 t4 b+ h, `
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10. 我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗?
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11. 我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母?我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系? " `4 K$ J  l7 d1 s1 \( [& m+ Z

' e. C9 |; m6 K2 Y2 l# t) B12. 我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么? : r8 O+ L0 h  [+ x
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13. 我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么?
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14. 如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作,做得到吗? , z+ p- k! J! a& H- ~' ]
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15. 我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走?
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原文:
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Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other
/ m/ A! ^- m" M  t critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that
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1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
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1 I, V& R2 l; |/ |: N 2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
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+ e( A: i  X: H/ o6 P+ r) f 3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?+ b, n: ]) I6 ?) b

' W8 I( O; F; d7 U" L. O2 u' H0 ` 4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
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5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?9 @3 U/ h- w1 v
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6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
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7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?1 t; F: J' ?0 N! S* M: K/ p
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8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?" ?1 q) t: }+ W, G! S  k

, D. u6 `* `- l' r+ M; |- k3 h 9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?5 a/ j" W, ^" S7 M) B4 C- Q2 \
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10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?- v; J. E9 h0 R) O
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11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?  C% Q9 N, b* H, m1 f" d  G
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12) What does my family do that annoys you?9 u" r; p5 ^: }

# f" J0 C& e9 j# n& i$ N" ]  w% u 13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
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) H' P+ M% Y' T3 |+ N4 [2 }7 y 14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?1 ]3 K1 P$ X+ B+ S
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15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges
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) w; h0 x! o/ h9 f简单说就是建立沟通和尊重的基础,是不是?
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