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构筑健康婚姻~~《纽约时报》婚前15问

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发表于 2015-9-24 12:13 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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8 _6 R$ i9 t9 O' W/ @1 f; J1. 我们要不要孩子?如果要,主要由谁来负责?
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2. 我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么?消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突?
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3. 我们的家庭如何维持?由谁来掌握可能出现的风险?
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4. 我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史?包括精神上的.
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5. 我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期?会不会给足够的祝福? % ~' k2 \$ p7 m0 W# _( p

$ q! L  e  q; v6. 我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧?
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7. 卧室能放电视机吗?
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8. 我们真的能倾听对方诉说,并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗?
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! r$ M" x) O2 D( ]9. 我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗?我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗?
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10. 我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗? $ _8 K# y$ C, t- P3 E) ~6 V- F

7 M4 o* `/ e8 h0 M' j' N11. 我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母?我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系?
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1 C5 d" C* A, Z* B- a12. 我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么? 5 c* S+ b8 w5 k9 Q( x6 {9 p
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13. 我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么?
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14. 如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作,做得到吗?
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8 E; }# @9 _1 U6 y; u15. 我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走? # g$ S9 K/ Y1 r  H+ l  L

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3 j, U7 I7 L# k原文:  h( Z9 d7 ~+ a; y, U4 q
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Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other
4 \' b- L" A7 |  |3 R# e critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that ; O- k2 i, C. \/ b1 N: I
couples should consider asking: - ]! ]$ @7 E5 J8 A; a  I
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1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver? : n! I: ~6 R5 `- J! i
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2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?3 n3 f$ Y1 ^9 i& [

* `: J; o" K0 z' L 3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
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( H& E3 j! Z: D" Y5 r 4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
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5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?2 N6 x) g7 \  r9 A$ w. ^# N
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6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
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7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?2 K) f/ q2 ~8 j1 Q& ?& b& ]4 m

8 L& H4 m0 n. `; L6 f 8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
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" D) K; W- v' C6 b! r' l% X 9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?2 I4 V- |  `  }' V% q3 S
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10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?+ d8 r5 |& q8 @" m
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11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
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12) What does my family do that annoys you?
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13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?$ O6 F, q& L2 X% G8 C) E- p& D! m

8 h9 K4 `) Y2 @4 V1 F7 u& C 14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
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5 R; N" S- T$ P- R9 N8 {* m" p8 c% O 15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges
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: l" P% `3 ?0 _$ g( [简单说就是建立沟通和尊重的基础,是不是?
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