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构筑健康婚姻~~《纽约时报》婚前15问

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发表于 2015-9-24 12:13 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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9 W  A% b: `. @/ W) k1. 我们要不要孩子?如果要,主要由谁来负责?
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# u/ {" \; I5 q2. 我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么?消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突? & P0 N) R9 ]1 G$ R

9 u3 N& j5 T+ V0 e( Y; u5 V- U3. 我们的家庭如何维持?由谁来掌握可能出现的风险? # w2 B0 x7 L; h& T; e

2 h& _3 v0 [/ u. P( R( R4. 我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史?包括精神上的. , {9 A2 [- {: b
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5. 我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期?会不会给足够的祝福? # Y- ~: c. Y3 y, X8 L& f) g6 O' s
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6. 我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧? , ^5 ]* S3 u/ H

/ R# g+ \% x* t  I7. 卧室能放电视机吗?
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! ~4 K8 W: X* |0 _* F4 a9 [8. 我们真的能倾听对方诉说,并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗? : L) ]5 A/ m8 j  P
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9. 我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗?我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗?
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10. 我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗? . w! z7 g8 y; u% o! O* o

6 Y+ R& {& e1 w% ]; C% u11. 我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母?我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系?
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$ D' w4 b$ Y) @; F! E12. 我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么?
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13. 我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么?
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14. 如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作,做得到吗?
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15. 我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走?   W" s8 |3 q7 l  }, [
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原文:
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Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other
' v" o. j# c6 }/ b" w0 \) ~& l- U critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that 1 s. ^& U6 X  O8 r
couples should consider asking:
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- n6 Y. O5 B9 o$ T$ h$ d 1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
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3 C1 S5 J; v4 c/ y' o 2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?. v1 K, a' j. @  B, t

) E/ l; t/ y) s% l# V4 |4 }  U7 e 3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?2 P2 w1 t& n6 d

% J/ r/ L  f4 }: T$ I3 C$ ^ 4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental? : J$ n# [* @1 x/ a& ?% [2 @0 c
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5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
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1 i' u! v# I, L7 y 6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
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7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?/ `- e0 ]. L) \, b1 Q) }  N

4 V7 C5 a2 b$ t5 O) R% o 8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?; s% l. q( D& n# Y" o+ E* U7 P

4 H5 {( ?( J" j! X! v 9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?: b. I& P% k* O9 Y4 x" r, Y
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10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?) Q1 a8 c0 o- D8 k
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11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?8 D; G/ D7 j* p
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12) What does my family do that annoys you?
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13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?, S/ z" O' x5 B" |
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14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?1 V) s, e6 n% W; X) n! H3 |/ v* o9 g
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15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges

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简单说就是建立沟通和尊重的基础,是不是?( K# Q- Q! E4 |# u" l


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