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构筑健康婚姻~~《纽约时报》婚前15问

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发表于 2015-9-24 12:13 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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1. 我们要不要孩子?如果要,主要由谁来负责?
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" Q' G0 E( a1 k4 k. ]2. 我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么?消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突? " h1 D+ ~9 j, I' m; x1 P: @# a

& f% `' B3 V, X4 S: t; ~3. 我们的家庭如何维持?由谁来掌握可能出现的风险? 5 N/ Q1 m! ^* t6 y
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4. 我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史?包括精神上的.
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2 z( ?6 l- ?# d  s) b5. 我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期?会不会给足够的祝福? 4 }5 T5 J8 ], p
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6. 我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧? $ u. k8 D) [: j) m9 H

0 s; c7 k! G9 k4 |' e5 d7. 卧室能放电视机吗? & P( e; b9 E# ?( Z
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8. 我们真的能倾听对方诉说,并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗?
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7 U7 Q( M* {4 [) ]+ d, B( ^9. 我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗?我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗?
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( v; Z/ r& X( R, f4 o0 p10. 我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗? 7 b$ d) @- }5 ]/ g$ t
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11. 我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母?我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系?
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& Y1 g, P! S3 U8 ?4 j12. 我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么? 4 {: D" `3 B7 t* p5 w
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13. 我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么? " I$ ]6 l: M0 J) c
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14. 如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作,做得到吗? . C  u5 u+ m4 N8 o  ~
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15. 我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走?
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6 ~, J. d& w" o& s) r0 [# F- {) a原文:9 e; l# n3 x& D3 C) }+ z3 Q
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Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other
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couples should consider asking: ( j3 e2 L0 J2 C. n. D

5 r3 T' q. ^9 Q+ p* ~ 1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
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7 r+ J5 x$ c/ U3 S1 m9 ?; S* u 2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
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; W; P! f) n% n" B+ I) F. R2 E 3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
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; k7 P4 }/ O7 P( W3 D 4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental? 0 v5 l* U+ _- j7 I1 T: h7 D& X1 @
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5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?5 B6 M( x8 k1 \8 t  j4 T3 t: D* R
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6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears? ) ]# ?4 i8 K$ P7 ^1 q) s

0 S3 w- d* `. E, @" K 7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
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8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?0 b0 r9 ~/ W0 w$ m& [* \3 k' w
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9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
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10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
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) ^# T4 \2 L3 S0 `: E+ ~ 11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?& }  O9 ~. z4 J& T2 x: A2 H

+ Q6 W4 r8 \& f 12) What does my family do that annoys you?) v) ]2 J4 m7 b9 X: J
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13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
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4 U# F4 a1 y& j0 `5 r: W3 v 14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?& g9 a: ^# k; S5 P) s/ \# ^
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15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges
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简单说就是建立沟通和尊重的基础,是不是?
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