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构筑健康婚姻~~《纽约时报》婚前15问

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发表于 2015-9-24 12:13 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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4 S/ F6 H' ]3 [6 y/ V5 @* d# c& O8 R1. 我们要不要孩子?如果要,主要由谁来负责?
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! u6 O4 e6 H0 O! L# \' ?  ~- Z/ j2. 我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么?消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突?
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3. 我们的家庭如何维持?由谁来掌握可能出现的风险?
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1 k6 y2 A; `& ]) f7 C) ~5 k4 |4. 我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史?包括精神上的.
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' c0 P: I+ ^- |; j5. 我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期?会不会给足够的祝福?
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6. 我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧? % W! F# Z' T; A& y7 d

" B/ z6 ?/ G; r4 B' [: p' x* B7. 卧室能放电视机吗?
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8 @2 Y  k" V* D4 k0 {0 L8. 我们真的能倾听对方诉说,并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗?
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4 i! X, _/ f; J8 Y9. 我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗?我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗?
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! T* T% d$ Q: V10. 我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗? 9 E, v3 x! P1 p3 U4 L- f, H; J

% }0 E- E: G, v: z11. 我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母?我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系? # n. h8 x3 W5 m9 t

2 K1 f. W, i8 L% L3 _. [9 `7 h12. 我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么? 8 Y! W7 ?# }+ }5 }

* c/ q/ ~; H$ a13. 我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么? $ M0 X1 N3 G% N* z9 h5 E9 c
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14. 如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作,做得到吗?   e- o1 W( u5 `) w. D/ W
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15. 我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走?
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+ Z" {* Z+ s# v2 D原文:
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Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other
" q0 l( V! x# u3 S2 W! | critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that
, U* f. r. h5 F) w. ]# A  T2 @ couples should consider asking:
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1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
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& t$ N$ E/ H- ?) Q 2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
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. `0 g9 l4 w3 v7 a/ ?& u9 | 3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?: T7 Q" E4 n* M$ p% G
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4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
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5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
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6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
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7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?0 {9 I: _( k: i7 }- f& w9 @2 y* v

4 r5 \6 a/ a  ^ 8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
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9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
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  L8 U3 G4 r9 _9 O% ]6 C, h6 _  ] 10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?* \" `# l7 V# Q  h- U1 U/ S7 P

/ y3 f- M: A; X' M# D/ q% C' T, Q 11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
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, e6 k6 M' H" h$ R/ B1 y, f7 e' f 12) What does my family do that annoys you?' ^& h% N1 d5 P2 `% ]5 F$ h

3 f/ v- u3 h3 N8 s9 w 13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?, r' E) E. r. L( d8 {( c1 ^

7 Z3 x% E; z. H7 C) k, l 14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?' G. b& H" s9 m% `8 C: M; x* B) E

* o# @; V- P7 j 15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges

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3 i" N# ]! r" [+ r简单说就是建立沟通和尊重的基础,是不是?5 b6 E: E  y+ [# P; u


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