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构筑健康婚姻~~《纽约时报》婚前15问

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发表于 2015-9-24 12:13 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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1. 我们要不要孩子?如果要,主要由谁来负责?   Z; x- Q! u) o, w3 ~2 I, K
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2. 我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么?消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突? 0 @: R( H% Q6 H- X  i
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3. 我们的家庭如何维持?由谁来掌握可能出现的风险?
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, J5 `: R9 g$ e" k; r& i4. 我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史?包括精神上的.
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  ~& m( W4 [( V; ]6 S5. 我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期?会不会给足够的祝福?
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: V) t9 w' m. U6. 我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧?
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" T0 o8 _; Y/ [# ]7. 卧室能放电视机吗?   l' O( p3 L( G2 \* X

- g( d- T+ P. l, N8. 我们真的能倾听对方诉说,并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗?
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9. 我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗?我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗?
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" `% M' W- q/ A10. 我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗?
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0 n+ n) [) z! W: H' i' ~# x9 d8 C11. 我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母?我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系?
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1 B9 K4 l/ @; R& A+ j$ }12. 我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么?
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+ R& H% e3 b: S$ y% h, q* b13. 我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么?
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14. 如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作,做得到吗?
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15. 我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走?
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/ v; T' c) q+ f2 I% z* J' B原文:
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" [6 {$ R: W( f5 I/ s$ G0 s/ GRelationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other
/ P* V6 n! \+ k+ U6 C# V critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that
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7 \5 O7 w/ h$ N7 d9 h& k- Z# k 1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver? 2 e/ M2 ~5 v" Y( n; l6 W. V+ Z2 H

( k0 Q4 H* b0 P 2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?' D1 J: R1 A9 C
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3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?) \8 u3 i3 l6 Z+ l. F( e4 G
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4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental? - y* L: }" ^, m5 a# G% P1 x3 o
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5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?( m. A# D1 |# w! O! K
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6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears? # w  Q7 x9 B5 @0 A; ~. l
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7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?( a; ^7 V/ C$ H  t
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8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
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9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
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0 }' |) h# r$ a 10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?. J; ~0 X6 _+ v. w
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11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
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6 L4 w! k2 ?& S/ M  p6 b, T6 E 12) What does my family do that annoys you?
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3 k( L* I  T) W( v9 n; } 13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
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6 M  e/ ]/ [& M; R 14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
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15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges

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) b7 g- [6 ~" O% W2 p) y) c简单说就是建立沟通和尊重的基础,是不是?
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