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构筑健康婚姻~~《纽约时报》婚前15问

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发表于 2015-9-24 12:13 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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8 Q: d2 O) l2 T- s1. 我们要不要孩子?如果要,主要由谁来负责? ; B1 D. Z$ P: e+ e
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2. 我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么?消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突?   ?0 [5 i" k2 C) b- f

, Z/ z' N6 S# m6 x4 V- c. c, Y3 m6 x9 x/ z3. 我们的家庭如何维持?由谁来掌握可能出现的风险?
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# x! R0 Y7 s6 ^. @) C: z+ H4. 我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史?包括精神上的. . u( ]! g: a( m+ O
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5. 我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期?会不会给足够的祝福? 0 a1 E! \& u# N9 j

% o0 x  P. h8 J  P1 q; ]6. 我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧?
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7. 卧室能放电视机吗?
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; a( T* Z0 v8 k7 \7 U. H8. 我们真的能倾听对方诉说,并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗?
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9. 我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗?我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗?
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10. 我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗?
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11. 我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母?我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系? : P2 G$ y$ R1 z3 I( b9 d$ d

! i3 o* Y8 `" X$ v2 Y: X) r) A12. 我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么? : M! B( p! y4 i0 t6 k' U: _0 e

' w: D7 a! s$ d13. 我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么? 2 r7 J, \1 r. [2 f# \3 F$ A1 e: E8 v

7 E& @! K, o4 H: d7 o* }' X14. 如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作,做得到吗?
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15. 我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走?
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2 v- @) L8 y% e( R; h0 @& J' n原文:
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- l; `! R9 \- B' S3 lRelationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other: n* M; }! ~! W8 O8 t* ^/ {8 B
critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that & k. \( n$ n  ]0 M9 M" R# R
couples should consider asking:
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- m' H0 k$ C9 e4 @+ X, S& K 1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
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6 v7 H+ a9 A9 S  d+ [: C1 w  }% V) | 2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?7 }! k4 {+ l( B( t

' i9 I* v6 ]  e  U 3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?4 u9 O$ D( X# K2 Q
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4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental? ' ^& J. W( Z% K- x3 H* ~) N

7 ~# A  I: f: B" T3 l$ p3 B 5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
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: o" Y2 p$ [  u/ ~# B9 _- a# s 6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
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5 D: R+ a' t; e" @. J 7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?3 E! S3 n) ^' k8 ?* z* M
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8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
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9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?5 C2 @  J6 E) L6 W; @# f, R* O& \8 c8 M

6 N2 J6 [2 O% i& x* t  ? 10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
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11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
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. i2 u5 m, q* X. `  f1 Q2 h 12) What does my family do that annoys you?
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13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
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9 C7 m( S/ }& L$ t! s) d/ S 14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?/ C# |5 ^0 d  J
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15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges

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7 Q& z$ i+ R! q/ @简单说就是建立沟通和尊重的基础,是不是?4 n6 O+ l3 ?* N; g/ b2 Q


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